Have you ever gotten lost in a remote area? Have you ever felt alone and cut off from your surroundings? lost track of time? Have you ever felt empty?
When I have such times, I find it both unsettling and alluring.
I am watching videos on YouTube that have nothing to do with the circumstances of my life. Time passes quickly.
Time and space escape me.
The ice cream cart’s ringtone passes through the alley.
Boys of 12 or 14 years old, selling it during the sweltering summer days in the alleyway with no pavement and no trees. Their tiny, broken footwear are being splashed with puffy dust.
The ringtone makes me think of earlier summer days! The days of life!
Here I find myself outside in the alley, watching the boys walking by in a distance.
I want to buy one for me and one for the little kid in a near distance who is looking back fondly to the ice cream cart, maybe just wishes to have one.
When I suddenly find myself unable to call them, I wait for them to turn head back so that I can wave. I watch them both till they turn their heads back as they cross the end of the alley. They are staring directly at me from that far away, but I can’t wave!
I suddenly find myself entering, shutting the gate, watching the young child cross the alley, and then discreetly disappearing.
I am inside, surfing through YouTube and nothing is connecting to outside.
ALYYOU 